the ugly truth

Mike: [to Abby, on how to attract Colin] You have to be two people. The saint and the sinner. The librarian and the stripper.

Abby: [gushing about Colin] He's such a great guy.
Mike: [sarcastically] Oh yeah, he's dreamy.
Abby: And he ticks numbers 1 to 10 on my list.
Mike: Although, weren't points 1 to 9 pretty much about him being gay

Mike: [about Colin] I'm going to make this guy your bitch.
Abby : I don't want a bitch.

Mike: Rule #4: Never talk about your problems 'cause men don't really listen or care.
Abby : Some men care!
Mike : No, some men pretend to care. When we ask "how you're doing" it's just guy code for "let me stick my dick in your ass".
Abby : OOH!

Mike: Let me tell you something about women. Women would have us believe that they are the victims; That we break their hearts for sport. That's crap. They say they want romance, they say they want true love, but all they want is a check list. Is he perfect? Is he handsome? Is he a doctor? For you men who fit the criteria, don't kid yourselves. Cuz if they're not sleeping with you, they're sleeping with a carefully calculated set of venal choices. Money over substance, looks over soul, polished over principles. No gesture, no matter how real or romantic will ever compensate for a really impressive list of credentials.

iwantgerardbutler(L)(L)
allovermybody!