i fell in love with him at 3am in a motel room, laughing in the dark while everyone else slept. i couldn't stay awake, he couldn't sleep. every time i woke up and saw him lying there next to me, i realized i couldn't be happier, and there was nothing i wanted more than to wake up beside him every chance i got. i may not know what i want in life, but i know what i don't want. i don't want to let go of this feeling that has been taking over ever since that night. i miss him, and it's holding me back. is it possible to be with someone when your heart is with someone else? i need help.
When I think about love, I think about when I was little and I automatically knew what I wanted. Love just like that. Like your favorite color comes to you, or how a smile comes across your face. It should just hit you and you should know that's how it's supposed to be. You know what is the difference between promises and memories? We break promises, whereas memories break us. Just pretend you don’t care. And don’t be surprised when he comes crawling back saying he made a mistake. And if you want to go, go with him again. But make him work for you. Don’t be his doormat. Don’t let him in the first time he rings the bell. Make him come back every day until you trust him enough. If he doesn’t come back after a couple of tries, just let him go. But if he comes back every day, then he’s worth it. Trust me, He’s worth it. i know it seems like a million years ago that we dated, but it wasn't. maybe you're over it, maybe it doesn't mean anything to you anymore. maybe it never did. but it meant a lot to me. you meant a lot to me. and you still do. When it comes to family we’re all still children at heart. No matter how old we get, we always need a place to call home. Because without the people you love most, you can’t help but feel all alone in the world all i want is you back in my life i don't even care how. if you came to my house everyday just to bitch me out, i'd be happy because you were there. After all we've been through I can't believe I'm standing here breathing without you we don't talk anymore, and i don't know why. it's like you gave me wings and said it's illegal to fly. (story of my life. connor made me love him so much, and now, well no other guy can measure up and i just find myself alone all the time. i miss him.) I care about you so much, I would never do anything to hurt you. I promise, Im not going anywhere. I want you, you are everything to me never forget that It's okay. I mean, no, obviously it's not okay, but it's how it is. We've had the chance to say that about a lot of things for a long time now, haven't we? It's not okay; it's just how it is. some people can just move on, you know. they mourn and cry & then they're done with it or at least appear to be. but to me, i don't know. i didn't want to fix it; i didn't want to forget it. it wasn't something that was broken, it was just something that happened. & i'm finding ways, everyday, of working around it. i'm respecting & remembering it, but i'm getting along with my life at the same time If tears could build a stairway on memories alone, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again.
today was great. but tomorrow will be better.
