Mercedes: Hey, she’s on to it.
Tina: I know. It’s really freaking me out. Hold up, Artie’s buzzing in. I’m going party line.
Artie: Dudes, this is serious. If she finds out, she’s gonna tell Finn! She’s a total trout mouth.
Tina: Kurt wants in.
Kurt: I say we lock Rachel up until after sectionals. I volunteer my basement!
Mercedes: We can’t, we need her to sing!
Kurt: Damn her talent.
Santana: We just heard. Who told?
Artie: I assumed it was you.
Santana: Why would I do that?
Kurt: To get back at Puck! Aren’t you guys dating?
Santana: Sex is not dating.
Brittany: If it were, Santana and I would be dating.
Satana: Look, I don’t wanna rock the boat. But since Quinn got pregnant, I’m top dog around here.
Mercedes: Hold up, Rachel’s walking by. Hey hot mama! She’s gone. Look, I know I screwed up telling all you guys about Quinn and Puck, and I feel terrible about it. But we cannot let Rachel figure this out. If she tells Finn, he is going to flip!
Kurt: And then we really have no chance in sectionals.

Mercedes: This is bad, dude. All our ballads are terrible, because we’re all so distracted. We’re all worried about Finn and Quinn and baby gate. We can’t even sing about our emotions, because we’re so worried about theirs.

Puck: Who cares.
Mercedes: Um, we all do. So we decided we’re all going to sing them a ballad to show that we got their backs.
Puck: Are you kidding me? There’s no way I’m singing to them. Not fair! Finn gets everything! He gets the sympathy, he gets the girl.
Mercedes: What is your problem?
Puck: Finn’s not the father! I am.
Mercedes: What? [pause] Alright, look, you need to get something through your mohawk real quick. You’re the baby’s daddy. It take a hell of a lot more to be a father, and that role has already been cast because Quinn chose Finn. You need to accept that and move on. Cause you have no business messing up that girl’s life anymore than you already have. You need to back off. You owe her at least that much.