Ben: Our baby is going to be French Canadian.
Allison: And a little bit Spanish...?
Ben: Yeah, I'm not very good with accents.

Alison: [to Debbie] What do you think? He's funny, right?
Ben: [to Debbie's kids] Fetch!
Debbie: [to Alison] He's playing fetch... with my kids... he's treating my kids like they're dogs.

Jay: Man, my balls are shaved, my pubes are trimmed, I'm ready to fuckin' rock this shit!
Jonah: What the fuck, man? If I go in there and see fuckin' pubes sprinkled on the toilet seat, I'm gonna fuckin' lose my mind! Last time I went to the bathroom, Jay, I took a shit and my shit looked like a fuckin' stuffed animal!

Allison: I'm pregnant.
Ben: Fuck off!
Allison: What?
Ben: What?